So, huevos rancheros benedicts. Perfect for brunches and with your morning Corona with lime. It's assembled like an eggs benedict, but it has an ethnic twist, if you consider Arizona "ethnic." Before I continue, I'd like to make one thing very clear. I love eggs benedicts. I love them very much. Poached eggs and hollandaise sauce? ON BREAD?! It really can't get any better than that. I don't really care for Canadian bacon, but I am a huge supporter of putting whatever the fuck you want on your eggs benedict. After all, it is yours to cherish.
To start this recipe, you have to make corn bread. I cheated and just bought a simple corn bread/muffin mix and did it that way. I don't make everything from scratch because it takes forever and I just want to eat already. So, make your corn bread. Corn muffins will do too. Corn something. Whatever works.
Then you want to start making your salsa. Put a big skillet/pan on the burner with a teaspoon of olive oil. Cut up a shallot (also a new thing for me, and I love it!) and a few cloves of garlic. Then a jalapeno pepper and either a habanero or something else. I used a Hawaiian chili pepper from my garden. They're more on the sweeter side and not too spicy. My dad says he can't eat spicy foods because he spent his childhood eating whole chili peppers and it ruined his ability to eat spicy foods forevermore. But I call bullshit. He's totally just being a wuss. So, add all this to the skillet and cook it for about 5 minutes on medium. Then add a can of crushed tomatoes and half a cup of water, bring to a boil, and then simmer it on low for a while, until it cooks and becomes the consistency of... salsa.
Then you poach your eggs. Do you get frustrated and cry a lot in the morning? If you said yes, then get a microwavable egg poacher. If you want to test yourself and already have a therapy session scheduled in the afternoon, poach your eggs in boiling water. You might even like it. The worst part for me was getting the water to boil at the right temperature. If it's not perfect, then the egg will either fall to the bottom of the pot and cook that way, which is no good. The other thing that will most definitely happen is what I like to call ghost eggs. An egg becomes a ghost when the water is boiling too rapidly and immediately starts cooking the eggs while thrashing new white threads around like the hair of a screaming banshee. The easiest way for me to get an egg poached was to boil the water rapidly, then to take the pot off of the burner and wait until the water settles a bit. Then slowly and carefully drop the egg in, then place the pot back on the burner and turn the heat to medium. Lots of work.
Also, to keep your poached eggs warm while you're making new ones, just put them in a bowl and add the hot poached egg water to it.
So, at this point, you're poaching eggs and doing the salsa and cooking corn something. The next step is the easiest. Put a pan on medium and add a can of black beans. You want the water/liquid in there. Then smush them all with a potato masher or fork or a shoe or something. You're going to want this as a paste.
That's it! Cut the corn bread into slices, smear the black bean paste on top of it, scoop your poached eggs on top (I recommend two per benedict since poached eggs lose a lot of their white stuff), then drizzle the salsa on top. Serve to your father and ask him if he can give you a ride to therapy since you worked so hard on his breakfast and really don't want to take the bus.
Editor's Note: I have plenty of awesome pictures, but left my camera USB thing at work. So you won't see them until Monday.
Bye-bye!
FINALLY! Here are the pictures.
Dodger, waiting patiently.
The beans, the beans!
Uno.
Dos.
Tres!
Is there any chance that you set your alarm clock incorrectly? After all, what you describe here clearly is a full day's work, two poops and all, and a full day begins later than a morning, especially on a Saturday, for most people. No, I am not saying that you are most people or even like them. I only am asking you to seriously evaluate the space-time continuum that produced such an awesome experience, and meal, asking yourself if this all genuinely occurred during a single morning or, like getting your driver's license, took a lifetime ... or at least a full day.
ReplyDeleteYou make a very good point, Peter. And the only reasonable explanation that I can come up with is that aliens, either experimenting with what we perceive as time, or preferably from another dimension that needs help, have chosen me to be their human being experiment, of which I am able to unknowingly travel through different dimensions, thus lulling time when necessary. This is great not only because I can get more work done, but because I am the chosen one. You can come up with other ideas, but I'm pretty secure with that explanation.
ReplyDelete